Finding Peace and Meaning in my Life

I’m always searching for meaning in my life. I’m always thinking: “What else is out there?”, “What am I destined to do?”, “How can I make the most out of my life?”, “Does my life have any real meaning yet?”, “What could I be missing?”

Being the best wife in the world has always been my number one goal in life, and I feel like I’m succeeding at that most days. Being a Mom to two cute and cuddly siamese cats has been awesome. I could have found better fur babies to love. Having a best friend that understands me and accepts everything about me is completely amazing. No topics are off limits as far as conversations go. Some people will go their who lives without experiencing that kind of friendship. I have plenty more friends and some good family. Starting my own business has felt right from the start, and I feel it has a ton of potential. I’m lucky.

Awhile back I mentioned that I am a Christian, but felt a bit lost in the whole thing. I grew up in a church where I never fit in and felt like I belonged. Even though I made friends many of those friendships faded. Now it’s been almost a year at my new church and I could be happier with it. I sincerely thought church was supposed to be boring and feel like torture, until I stumbled upon my new church. Now I actually enjoy church, but wouldn’t mind a few less songs.

My new church made me realize that I’m supposed to have a relationship with God. I wasn’t sure I really knew what that meant. I always find it a bit odd when people talk about God as if they had a real face-to-face conversation with him. It has actually has made me feel uncomfortable in the past. Like maybe these people are religious nut jobs! Now I still find it odd, but I don’t judge them for it. I don’t judge because I realize that I haven’t made the effort to truly find out what it means to have a relationship with God. Digging deeper into religion and talking about it with other people is an uncomfortable area for me. However, I know that I have to do things that I’m afraid of once in awhile to grow as a person. So, I started this course called ALPHA that goes through the basics of Christianity. So far I’ve learned a lot and have met a lot of really nice people. I’ve even started reading from a devotional book each day. It’s been a real positive way to start the day.

I haven’t achieved my major goal though. My major goal right now in my life is to learn how to really trust in God that things will just work out in my life, and therefore I will have less highly sensitive emotional stress attacks. I’m not really sure what to call them, but my whole body becomes fearful of the world and I become a very negative version of myself. I start to feel like life is too hard and it’s just not going to get easier. My mind and body kind of enter a state of panic. I start to think everything in life is too overwhelming and the world is working against me. Sometimes I even think I’m not going to survive 5o some years on this planet. It’s awful, and I know in my mind that I have no reason to feel that way. When I finally get over this emotional attack I’m then left in a state of anger for feeling that way in the first place. Then, I worry about it happening again. I’m not sure if that’s just a normal thing for highly sensitive people or it has something to do with my childhood.

The thing is I’ve been taking really good care of myself too. I don’t even put my self in situations that are too overwhelming anymore. I make sure to plan out my life so that I have enough time by myself and enough time with other people. I make sure I have time to take breaks during my work day and rarely overload myself with work. Still I have these emotional attacks. However, I firmly believe that if I keep working at it I will be able to sail through life rarely worrying and stressing over anything. That’s the ultimate goal. Any thoughts?


Spinning Around in Circles

I’m spinning around in circles and whenever I feel like I’m going somewhere I fall back down and it starts all over again. This sentence was taken from my high school self, and I just thought of it again today. This applies to more than one area and more than one aspect of my life. First, my desire to think positive and not let the world get me down. Second, the direction my life is going. Spinning

Being positive right now is a very complicated task for me. I can handle my struggles of being an entrepreneur pretty well because I have no doubt that it’s my destiny to go down that road. I can handle the fact that I have pain in my stomach and frequent headaches. I will find a way to conquer that. I’ve handled the fact that we haven’t had money to put into savings in a really long time. What I can’t handle is the healthcare bills that are going to hold us back (possibly a year) from getting to a place where we can say were doing financially well. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it yet, but my husband had stomach issues too. He had to have a really expensive test and now we have to pay a good chunk of his healthcare deductible along with my whole deductible. Plus there’s money going into my business and not yet coming out. I feel like my life is operating in circles with a constant struggle of pushing forward, and then being pulled forcefully backward.

I find myself feeling all the same emotions I did two years ago. I have to force myself not to blame myself for all our financial hardships. I have to stop myself from blaming my parents for not raising me better, understanding my sensitivity, or noticing how lost and alone I felt in this world for so many years. I sometimes feel like I’m living a life I’ve already lived. It’s weird because I felt that way when I went to college — I could sense all the struggles and stress I would face and it felt like I had already done it. I experienced it emotionally in some way before it had even happened. It’s really hard to explain.

I know being stressed won’t help me. I know dwelling on the past won’t help me. I know the only thing I can do is keep on working hard and staying motivated. I just think for most people that’s easier because it’s not the story of their life. It is the story of my life: a constant battle to succeed, feeling like I’m moving forward, something catastrophic happens, and I’m right back where I started. I know there’s people who have it worse and I try to remember that. I just only know what it feels like to be me.

I read in this book that your either happy or your not. There is not sort of, some days I am, some days I’m not. Your either happy or your miserable. I guess that makes sense, but I don’t want to believe it. If we accept this as the truth I’m not certain if I’ve ever been really happy for more than a few months at a time (if even that) since I was like 5. But, honestly I can’t be certain. I’m not sure I like this theory because it makes me think “Why try then?” I think a lot of people see me as happy because I make an effort to be. I enjoy my weekends and time spent with my husband and friends.

I know I wrote a post recently on being positive so I’m supposed to be in a really positive place, but I don’t want to sugarcoat the way I’m feeling, and when I pretend I start to feel guilty about it after awhile. You have to know that things have gone wrong that I’ve accepted and turned back to a positive view, and then more things have gone wrong, but I still chose to be positive, and then again more things have gone wrong and now I’m just trying to stay afloat. I know life is suppose to teach us lessons and bad things usually happen for a reason. So, if the reason is to turn me into a stronger person I think that’s probably happening. I’ve learned to be positive in a lot of extremely difficult situations. If some people only knew how hard my life has been + how sensitive I am + how hard things were for me just in the last couple months they might wonder how I manage to get out of bed in the morning. Of course, there are people who deal with a lot worse.

My birthday is coming. Every year on my birthday for about the last 6 years I contemplate if I’m at the point I want to be in my life for turning that age. I’ve always had goals for myself and they haven’t been anything outrageous. Well around this time last year was when my hours were cut at my part time job that I was going to keep while I went into business for myself. I knew then my job would end. I cried on my birthday because I felt like I wasn’t where I wanted to be for turning another year older. This year I’m not where I want to be in my life, but at least I have my own business like I wanted since I was in college. This year my only goal is to not cry on my birthday. So I coaxed my husband into buying me tickets for this awesome show because I get really happy whenever I get to do something new and exciting. And I’m waiting to do my crazy diet plan that might cure my stomach issues. I think I can manage not to cry.

I sometimes just still feel like a lost kid trying to navigate her way through a big scary world. Except, I’m so much smarter then people realize. I consider myself wiser than a lot of people twice my age. Because I’m an introspective, INFJ whose always reading and learning. Because I see the world differently and feel everything deeper.

I feel like crying right now not out of sadness or pain but just the feeling of being completely engulfed in all my emotions and being able to understand them so clearly. I’m sitting in the screen porch with the wind blowing on me and there’s nothing else I would rather do then just keep on typing and writing out everything I’m feeling. But, I think that’s enough for today.

If The Earth Doesn’t Swallow Me Whole: Waiting on A Sign of Something Good to Come

I can keep my head above water when a lot of stressful and unfortunate things happen. I can because I’ve had a lot of practice. Except when one large piece is added, then all my positive feelings tumble down like a Jenga tower collapsing all the way down to the basetree-407256_1280.

I worry about myself, I do. At this point in my life with so many things going wrong I have a hard time really enjoying the happy moments. The moments I plan to keep me distracted from the bad stuff. The moments that usually cost money when I’m financially suffering. I have so many great friends and family to spend time with. I have to keep on planning fun activities, I can’t let the summer pass me by. I need to enjoy it.

Then I get angry with myself for not being able to let go of everything wrong and just let all the good moments flood in. I think about how much easier it would be for someone who is not a sensitive soul. And I start thinking: Why me? Why hasn’t my life gotten any easier when I’m so determined to be successful and follow my dreams? Every year I think, this is going to be the year when I’m happy in my career and doing great financially. And time keeps going by, weeks pass, months pass, and things never seem to look up.

I know I’m in a better place with a stronger self-esteem then ever before, but realizing the type of person I am and knowing that I need to embrace that person doesn’t make life that much easier. The truth is it’s difficult being me. I know there’s maybe a lot of people who think that. However, I really have a very complex personality, a sensitive soul, and past self issues that I can’t change and they make me the person I am today. If I didn’t have my husband, I wouldn’t have anything good or positive in my life. Just about all the good things in my life are because of him.

I don’t have the patience for a lot of things in life. I’m easily irritated when I leave home and forgot to grab something and have to drive 10 minutes back in the wrong direction. I forget little things that I remind myself to do in just a few minutes or less. Things like take dinner out of the freezer my husband reminds me of on the phone and I get off the phone and completely forget. I mean I remember important things related to technology, conversations, plans, and feeding the cats. Just not to do lists in my head. I don’t really like driving much at all. I can’t remember how to get places, and If I do I remember how to visually get there. I have to explain the visual directions on how to get somewhere to my husband to ask if that’s the right way. I think it’s because driving is too overwhelming for me. I also think because on a daily basis I have to deal with numerous thoughts and all the feelings associated with those thoughts, so driving and remembering little tasks doesn’t come easy to me. Maybe my brain is just operating and doing more than the average persons. Sometimes I just have bad anxiety about doing something annoying and/or tedious in my life.

I also can’t stand to have meaningless conversations with people over and over again. I was horrible at customer service and the worst waitress in the world. On top of that I can’t handle anything tedious for too long and to me customer service is tedious. To me tedious is anything where my creative brain is not being utilized at all. So it’s safe to say that most of my former bosses didn’t really like me, but the feeling was mutual. Even writing all day to me is tedious, drawing all day, creating graphics, and brainstorming creative ideas. They are all creative, but I get sick of just one creative task. I want to do all of them in one day. I need to keep switching tasks and I need to always be learning. I realized that more than ever when my last position I got bored after I finally learned everything there was to learn even with 4-6 different creative tasks a day. I am literally a born entrepreneur! Just like an Einstein or a Steve Jobs I think differently and don’t quite fit in.

I know there’s a lot of creative people out there and a lot of creative opportunities. The problem with me is I’m a born creative and desire creativity in every aspect of my life. That means I want to not only create things in my job, but also have a creative home, creative fashion, creative adventures, creative food, creative house, and so on. So I say it again, it is really difficult being me, and when I try to be anything but me I fail miserable in life.

Sometimes I just wonder if I’m going to be able to survive being me till I’m like 90. I know if something really tragic were to happen in my life it’s likely I will fall into a deep depression. (Am I already depressed for writing this?) But, maybe it’s me who’s not meant to live a whole life. Maybe the earth will open up and swallow me whole. I am religious and I do believe in God so that won’t be my choice. Sometimes I think death isn’t that scary, life is, and heaven will be great. Will the world be okay without me? or will I need a psychiatrist at some point? or will I get to follow my creative dreams and maybe be making riches beyond my wildest dreams?

I think all the time, I could do something amazing with my creative abilities if only I had the money to invest in some or all of my ideas. It takes money to make money, and I might have to try again at another job where I don’t belong just to get that money. I just really need to keep my self esteem from crashing.amazing-736885_1280

I know who I am and I really do just want to be me, but it’s really hard when things never seem to go my way.

I’m just not sure I believe the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, but I think I believe that one day something really good is going to happen in my life. And I’m praying for it. Just a sign of something good to come would be great!

I guess I feel better just pouring all my thoughts onto this blank page.

Inside Out Movie – Sounds about Right

I went to see the movie “Inside Out” on Tuesday and I just loved the idea of it. It seems kind of silly having 5 people in your head controlling all your emotions and planting ideas in your head. But, by the end of the movie I could totally imagine having 5 different people in control in my head.

If you haven’t seen it, the five different people are: Joy, Fear, Anger, Sadness, and Disgust. They have a control station and press buttons to take control of the girl, who’s head their in. They decide how she should feel and react at any given moment. There are also people who control memories, the unconscious, and even clear out thoughts to make room for new ones.

My husband and I both agreed that Disgust was probably usually in control in my head. Not to mean that I’m disgusted by a lot of things, but because I often don’t see things the way other people see them. I disagree with the way the world works. I don’t follow the status quo. Which I think, makes sense for disgust. Disgust has an attitude about everything. But then again, I don’t often show my attitude toward a lot of things. So, maybe not.

Anyway, when I was young I was very overwhelmed by all the emotions I had. I was very confused by my personality, and I would find myself struggling to decide how to handle different situations. People usually have a certain way of dealing with anger and pain that they stick to. But not me, I would sit there and debate whether I should cry, be angry, ignore the situation, or do something entirely different. In reference to the movie, it’s like the people in my head were arguing over the controls, or worse they were just taking a snooze making me completely freeze in my tracks. I couldn’t even decide if I wanted to be silently be angry, or openly share my anger with those who hurt me. I would often find myself dealing with each emotional situation differently even though the situations were not all that different.

Still today, I can see how it would make sense that people in my head are controlling how I feel. I can go from being completely happy to unhappy pretty quickly. Although, sometimes I feel like anger, sadness, disgust, and fear are all working together to drive me emotionally crazy! Lately, joy has take a backseat because of the stomach pain I haven’t been able to get rid of. But, I want to feel joy, I want to feel joy so badly it actually makes me angry. I try to feel joy.

Well, if you haven’t seen the movie yet I recommend checking it out. I really enjoyed it. I might even buy a copy when it comes to DVD.

Creating a more alert and energetic version of myself

It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve had a cup of coffee. It’s been rough. Except, I don’t even like coffee. At least not without some added flavors. And by added flavors I don’t mean cream and sugar, they don’t make the coffee better. I’m taking about chocolate, vanilla, caramel, hazelnut, mint, and so on…coffee-691464_1280

Even with eight hours of recommended sleep I’ve never been a person with much energy in the morning and even during the day. I used to drink mocha’s and other fancy coffee drinks just for the delicious flavors. Then one day I realized I couldn’t survive in the career world without a cup of coffee every morning. But, I didn’t want to drink the unhealthy sugar stuff. So, I started pouring myself a cup of black coffee and just cringed as I sipped it. I never thought cream or sugar made this dirt mixed with water beverage any better. Of course, I still had flavored coffee and fancy mocha’s once in awhile.

It’s been three years now that I’ve been a coffee drinker. I never wanted to be addicted, and I never thought I was until I had to give it up. I definitely thought I was addicted to the energy and better brain power it gave me. But, I didn’t expect to be addicted to it physically. When I first started drinking coffee I could barely get through a whole cup without becoming shaky and super hyper. Now I sit here staring at this computer screen and I find myself struggling to process words in my head. My motivation and brain power are down. I keep thinking about how much better my writing would be with coffee in my system. I keep losing my train of thought.

The first couple of days with coffee I had a migraine. It finally settled into a headache on the third day. It then finally faded to just head pressure on the fifth day. I have felt like a complete zombie in the morning even after eight hours of sleep. I find myself not only missing the energy, but also the feeling of sipping something hot in the morning. I used to persist on having coffee everyday. My husband, who drinks it because he likes the taste, didn’t understand this. He drinks it all the time and is somehow not addicted. Or so we think. I wanted it everyday for the energy, not because I felt ill physically. I never had headaches during the day even when I didn’t get coffee till noon, instead I just had a lot less energy.

I firmly believe in the power coffee has to stimulate better brain power. It helps with focusing, reducing stress, and creating more energy, all leading to more success in life.

Coffee creates a better version of myself, and I feel like a different person without it. I can’t wait till the day I can drink a cup of coffee again and go back to the person I loved more.

Driving Away From Here

Finally, had a real vacation! Feel bad that I have posted anything in awhile. I missed my blog, but a week and a half ago a road trip anywhere away from here was the only thing on my mind. On my first road trip with my husband I brought a bunch of entertainment thinking I would be so easily bored, but I honestly just enjoyed staring at the road in complete relaxation.

This wasn’t just any vacation, it was a trip to see my best friend, who is like a sister to me. Every friend I see on a regular basis has a solid job and either has babies or feel the need to have one soon. I don’t. I just dream of being an aunt, a dream I’m still waiting on. My best friend has no intention of ever having a baby, and her and I are very much alike in our personality and the way we see this world. With her I fit into this world and I can be entirely myself. But I have to live here without her, and feel the pressure of feeling like I don’t fit in with everyone around me settling down. It’s just me and my husband.

After she left four years ago, I was angry and felt lonely all the time. It took a couple years, but I finally have a pretty good circle of friends, still they can’t compensate for the fact that she’s not here. I understand her seasonal depression, but it makes me angry at the world, because that’s the only reason she’s not here. There are people in this world that just can’t be replaced, there’s just too much history.

I’ve never been in love with this state, but in the movie “I Am Number Four,” the main character said “A place is only as good as the people you know in it.” And I strongly agree with that. I have a lot of people here. Therefore, I just want to be successful enough to take more vacations then the average person, and be able to see my best friend more than once a year. But, I fear that won’t be enough. I fear more loneliness, and I fear more time feeling so different from everyone else.

I feel everything so deeply, and sometimes I feel deep emotions without really understanding why. I find myself struggling as I realize I may feel out of place for a very long time.

10 Strategies Toward Less Stress

I think I’ve been stressed for the last four years. Anytime I think about where I want to be financially and where I am right now, I feel stressed. It bothers me that studies show the Millennial generation is the most stressed-out generation. There are many articles about it. I often wonder what it would have been like to grow up in my parents generation. They think they understand how my generation and I feel, but they really have no clue. I know the Gen Xers and other generations have a lot of stress too, and I don’t know how they feel, but I imagine it’s quite different. I’ve found the best way to cope with my stressful life is just to focus on how I can survive the future of no job security and live the life I’ve always dreamed.

I’ve become better over the years at handling my stress levels through education, determination, and focusing on the positive things in my life. I know that would be nearly impossible if my husband and I were both unemployed, but weren’t not. We have a lot of positive things going for us, and the ability for me to start my own business is one of them. One thing I try to remind myself is that my stress comes from within, it’s not external factors that are causing me stress, it’s me reacting to those external factors. At this point, I usually take a deep breath and focus on what I need to do to remove the stress. Being stressed is not going to help make a difficult task any easier, or help me to focus on the situation in front of me.

Here are some of the strategies I’ve found helpful in handling stress:

  1. Create task lists of things to do or things to remember (This was helpful when I became overwhelmed at work — with too many things to do in a short period of time.)
  2. Meditation (This could be thinking about a relaxing time from my past, clearing my mind and just listening to my breathing in complete silence, or a quiet walk —  it does help.)
  3. Write down your thoughts (There’s an article that shows it has amazing health benefits, and you don’t even have to write good, you can just scribble down three pages of what your feeling and you’ll feel better. This strategy works great for my husband.)
  4. Share your feelings (Of course! Some people get sick from keeping everything internalized and never vocalizing how they feel. My husband has been known to keep everything in, but over the years he’s become more vocal about it, and I can tell he feels better afterward.)
  5. Read motivational quotes, books, or articles (This has helped me a lot. I have become a more confident and positive person due to the 100’s of articles and quotes I have read, and the few amazing books that have transformed me into a new person.)
  6. Find one activity to look forward to everyday (For me this can simply be a delicious recipe, or baking cookies, a TV show, a walk, an arts/crafts hobby, playing with my cats, spending time with friends, or trying something new and different.)
  7. Reach toward your dreams (I knew that I needed to improve my confidence to live out my dreams. So, I found books and strategies to help me. I felt a sense of new confidence with each book I read.) Just think of one thing that you can do each day, week, or month, to put you a step closer to your dreams, and do it.
  8. Get a pet. (Enough said. You can read my last blog post on how it helps with stress.)
  9. Avoid negative people (Family or not, I’ve found I just need to stay away from people who put me in a negative state of mind. Since I’m highly sensitive, people who are negative have an even stronger effect of my emotions.)
  10. Laugh a lot and smile more (Life is more difficult that I ever expected, but I always try my best to find humor in life situations. I find ways to make my husband laugh, I tell jokes, and I act like a goofy kid once in awhile.)

Recently, my husband has been a bit stressed and my creative way of handling it was telling him that every time I heard him sigh, which was a lot, I better hear a “yippee” after it with some enthusiasm in it. He did, he thought it was pretty funny, it made it hard for him not to smile. Which studies have shown smiling makes you happier. 

I’ve actually created a list of fun activities to do outside of my home, both indoor and outdoor activities, so that I constantly have variety in my life, and never fall into a trap of boredom, or displeasure with life. But, it gets exceptionally tricky in winter where it costs money to do most activities.

Oh and listening to relaxing music that helps too.

Wishing you a life with less stress,

Everyone Loves an Underdog

If someone wrote a book about your life, would anyone want to read it?

Without struggle, without suffering, we have no story. No one wants to read about the person whose always got everything they ever wanted. No one wants to read about the person whose had an easy life and succeeded and everything they ever tried.

Everyone wants to read about the person who struggled, and then struggled some more, hit rock bottom, and then eventually succeeded, and even lived out their dreams.

I have been learning about underdogs for the past month, and the one thing that has really resonated with me is how difficult times can set you up to be more successful, then the person living the easy life. When life is difficult, we have to ask ourselves, “What can we learn from it?” We can learn more from the difficult parts of our life, then the easy successful parts.

A life with a good mix of drama, challenges to overcome, pain, along with success, and happiness, is the kind of life people are interested in reading about. Because everyone loves an underdog. Movies love to share the stories of underdogs from fictional characters to real life hero’s or just successes. Celebrities who were once sleeping in their cars are now living in mansions. I read an article recently that listed some of Hollywood’s biggest names, who were once homeless and living in their cars. I was very surprised! Read here.

I’m not entirely happy about the difficult things I’ve had to go through in my life, but I’m proud to be the person those difficult times has shaped me to be. I’m proud of the person I’ve become, and the person I can be in the future. I know that no matter what good fortune or success comes my way I will always stay true to myself. I won’t take anything for granted.

If your struggling in life, I hope you realize how much of a stronger person you will be because of it.

Ugly Places and Uncozy Spaces

Quick! run toward the exit maybe no one will notice! (that’s what I’m thinking, but I don’t).

I’m very particular about the environments I will allow myself to spend time in. Places with weird smells, dirty spaces, tight quarters, old, dingy styles, and damaged pieces, make me feel sick inside. If the place is all of the above I find myself feeling dirty and ugly in the space as if I’m absorbing the essences of it. Even after I leave I’m still not at ease. My mind can’t let go of the time I spent and the feelings I encountered in an uncomfortable place. I find myself yearning for a clean and cozy space or my own place.

One of these ugly places with tight spaces is my parents home, specifically their kitchen. I spent 18 years there, in a space that caused me discomfort and I couldn’t do a single thing to fix it. It never felt like home. Now I limit my time there, remember I’m no longer trapped, and prepare myself mentally in advance.

I don’t know why different spaces have so much of an effect on me, I’m sure it’s partly due to my sensitivity. There’s just no other place or space quite like home.

When I started looking for a house my husband pushed for a fixer upper. I on the other hand wanted something newly remodeled. I needed a space that right away felt warm and inviting. I couldn’t live in the stress and mess of reconstruction. I couldn’t have found something more suitable to my personality and my tastes. There’s definitely room for  a bit of remodeling and it turned out to need a lot of fixes. However, the main rooms in the house are cosmetically pleasing even without the fancy furniture we’ve been unable to purchase. Above all the house is not a cookie cutter home (this was very important to me), there’s not a single house exactly like it.

No matter how tough life gets and how scary the world can be it’s nice to have one place that will always feels like home to me. One place that resembles my creativity and uniqueness that is me.

Waking Up to the Lies and Deceit in our World

We are being lied to and deceived on a daily basis by the media, by companies, by everyday people, by the world. Over the past 4 years I’ve slowly been waking up to the TRUTH. I’m not sure how fully awake I am, but I want to be fully awake.

I was asked in a past interview if I was “smart” and inside I was beaming with excitement over this question. My answer was yes (of course) and I knew just what to say for why. I’m not sure if I explained it well. I don’t explain myself that well verbally as I do when I write. About a year and a half ago I would of been stumbling over this question afraid to say the wrong thing. My husband and I have both declared ourselves as smart people because we don’t believe everything we hear and see. We research to find the TRUTH. We are well aware that the world is filled with lies. I don’t know how most people define “smart” – I would be very interested to know. I believe two things make me smart:

1. That I think for myself without influence from other people and other things, and I do research to find the truth about what I hear and what I read.
2. That I look at problems in many different ways and find new perspectives that no one else has taken.

With the internet we can actually uncover the truth buried among all the lies and deceitful information. We can make more informed decisions when we understand what’s really happening in the world around us. Here are the realizations I have come to understand (Many may not apply if you live outside the United States):

Most people would agree the government lies to us – we don’t know if everything they say is true. We question the truth about past history events, what’s happening with other countries, whether they are covering up the truth that we found signs of alien life and many other things…

Most people would agree that politicians lie – although many people still blindly believe everything they hear without digging any further into it. I was once blinded by it all, but my husband and I started paying closer attention and researched to find many real truths. But, even with all the research, even with listening to the unbiased radio and TV networks – sometimes people still deceive us and there’s just no way we could ever know.

We all know there’s lies in advertising or stretched truths. That’s why I read reviews and research my bigger purchases, or purchases that I want to last for 5 or 10 years or however long. Sometimes it’s even popular products that are the biggest waste of money. The Keurig Coffee Makers in my husband and my price range had bad reviews and many people we talked to said their’s didn’t even make a full cup of coffee. We researched and found one that has single serve K-cup capability and grounds, along with a 12-cup pot. It’s a Hamilton Beach product and it works great and does a lot more! But, don’t trust me – research it for yourself if your looking.

We all know too that newspapers lie, TV lies, magazines lie, radio lies. Celebrity news usually has the biggest lies. But, did you know even school textbooks lie too? I learned recently more about the history of America from a documentary and there was a ton of pertinent information left out of my past history books. Some of the information in my text books was altered – lies. Did you know the first slave owner in America was African American? and thousands of free African American’s were in fact slave owners? Look it up – if your interested.

A lot of people don’t realize all the chemicals that are in their food that are doing more harm then good. Low fat and low calorie foods have more ingredients with more chemicals that lead to cancer – they are not healthier for you, just eat less instead. Even if they don’t say “low fat”, “low calories” a lot of foods still have “hydrogenated” and “high fructose corn syrup” ingredients among other chemicals. My husband and I haven’t gone organic, or changed what we eat at restaurants. Instead we avoid anything that has “hydrogenated” or “high fructose corn syrup” in it and always pick the foods with less ingredients. It was a difficult change but it slowly became easier and easier. I feel healthier because of it. But, don’t take my word for it – research it yourself.

Also chemicals like “high fructose corn syrup” actually make you more hungry and keep you from feeling full when you are in fact full. I just recently saw this chemical in a snack bar that is advertised to help your hunger cravings between meals. It does the exact opposite! But, don’t take my word for it – do your own research to make sure I have my facts correct. I’m still learning about what things to avoid. It’s difficult when there are so many healthcare professionals and weight loss people telling us how to eat healthy by advertising foods with chemicals that do the exact opposite.

Then, there’s doctors and psychiatrists who prescribe different medicines that we don’t in fact need. There’s even pills that are suppose to fix problems with ingredients that can actually make that problem worse for some people. When you have the option to choose gel caps or coated pills you should know the gel caps have less ingredients making them more likely to fix the problem instead of causing other problems.

Job interviews are also very deceitful. Companies try to come up with questions to purposely trick us and find hidden meanings in our character and skill set. Some are commonly asked questions and some are rare and you can’t quite prepare for them. After research you will find a lot of them there’s only one way to answer, and you may have to lie to answer the question correctly.

I’m sure there’s plenty more…

Some people don’t care to know, some people want to sleep through life, some are just lazy, some just honestly haven’t looked any deeper yet. I know I feel better about myself, my life, and the choices I make knowing I’m awake and know the TRUTH among many lies.

How awake are you?