From Thoughts, To Words, To Realizations

I felt compelled to create this blog without any real idea where it would lead or what purpose it would serve in my life. This is my 25th post and I’m happy to say “I really love my blog.” I have no idea what the future holds for my blog, I’m not really sure what I will write about next week. hmm…probably post another poem? But, I like the mystery of not knowing what direction my blog will go next. 

I don’t have a formal background in writing and I don’t consider myself to be a really good writer. I know I have a lot to learn in writing, but hopefully I’m getting better. The purpose of my blog is not to get over 1,000 followers in a few months or anything of that nature. I honestly wouldn’t have known what to do with that, because I’m an inexperienced writer. I would of felt compelled to make all my posts intriguing and grammatically perfect, which would of stopped me from writing what I felt compelled to say. But, I’m very happy to see that I do have people following my blog and liking my posts. I’m glad to see my followers growing. It truly means a lot to me.  

My blog posts are like artwork to me, they all have a meaning and purpose. Nothing I write is without purpose, even though some of my posts I’m happier with than others. Even the things I post that are unpopular I’m not ashamed of nor do I regret posting them. A lot of times I put my thoughts into writing and they evolve into something entirely unexpected. I come to understand a bit more about myself and how I see things in life. Other posts I write ideas and thoughts that I hope will make a difference to other people or just strike interest. I do really appreciate comments. 

Before I created this blog I read articles and looked at blog posts that were popular. I felt I should get an idea of what makes a good blog. But, I still have no idea. I figured I needed to just create a blog that was true to me and that’s what this blog is. It’s all my own ideas and thoughts without following any rules and I truly like it that way. 

I know there’s some blog posts I’ve written that I will go back and read because it’s an idea or thought that turned into a realization. I have posted things I’ve learned about life and the way I plan on living it. 

The Lyrics of My Life

musicMusic inspires me to write, and if I had any musical talent I would write songs. Certain songs bring out a wave of emotions in me. I hear a song and sometimes it can make or break the mood I’m in. Sometimes one simple song can make me feel less lonely or less misunderstood. There are songs I will listen to again and again because the lyrics are more than a song written for the mass people to hear. They are the lyrics of my life.

Songs are often times someone’s secret diary of emotions that started to eat them up inside. So, they spilled their words out onto blank sheet of paper and created a melody, releasing their emotions out into the world. They transformed their emotions into art for everyone to hear, relate to, or just to feel what they have been through.

I know how this works because that’s what I do with writing. Sometimes if I don’t get my emotions out into the world they eat me up inside until I can no longer function without them tormenting me in the back of my mind. So, I spill my feelings out onto a blank document and share them with the world. I hope for my writing to become the art that others can feel and relate to.

What songs do you feel are the lyrics to your life?

Creative Madness

Paint

This is my artwork I created in Photoshop for this post. The images are pictures I took myself.

If I were to choose one word to describe myself “creative” is most definitely that word. I strive to be creative in everything I do. I told you before I want a life that is anything but ordinary. I’ve told you I’m a child at heart and strive to always make anything and everything fun. You might also know that my main goal in life is to be happy despite any obstacles that are thrown in my direction. If you’ve read my past few posts you know these things about me. What you don’t know is that I have creative madness!

Subconsciously and somewhat consciously I evaluate and live my life with a constant drive to be unique and unlike anyone else. Which is ironic at times because I dream a lot about what it would be like to walk in someone else’s shoes – live their life. Imagine what you would learn if you had the chance to be someone else for a day… to be a rock star for a day, to be a famous athlete, to live in a different country. I think it would be cool, because I would take some of the things I like in other people’s lives and incorporate a few of them into my life. However, I would never want to be famous and I would still want to be me.

To be unique and unlike anyone else requires a great deal of creativity and often times money. I know one thing is for certain, no one quite sees the world the way I see it. The way I see it is flawed at times, but also rather unique. To explain this is difficult, but it’s a journey I’m willing to embark upon.

When I was a kid I had quite the imagination, I would build and create things with little to no inspiration or so I think. I wanted to be an artist, but I had no clue what kind. I also dreamed of being a writer, a singer and an actress. I took drawing classes and pottery classes, but didn’t want a career in it. I wanted to just invent things. So, I went to school for Industrial design and I was so horrible at it that the teachers questioned why I had chosen that path. I was lost. I regret that I had no direction. I couldn’t of created better art if I had been more confidence in myself. But, it still was not the right path for me. The path of marketing was a good one, because it allows creativity and variety. However, I’m interested in so many different creative avenues, but most of all a path that is completely my own. I’m in love with all things that involve being creative and I want something I do or some part of my life to be epic!

My desire to be creative, and unlike anyone else, is about each day being filled with variety, no day should ever feel the same as the last one. I shall not let mind-numbing pointless tasks or chores engulf my day. I strive to be  full of positive energy each day, be unpredictable and have a personality unlike anyone else.

I’m creative when it comes to the meals I cook. I’m constantly trying new recipes and always seeking variety. I’m creative when it comes to fashion, I try to have a unique style and wear fun outfits with unique jewelry. I’m creative when it comes to my home. I want beautiful unique artwork on my walls with a one-of-a-kind interior design that matches my personality. I seek variety with the hobbies I take part in and have numerous hobbies including: biking, hiking, jet skiing, frolfing, swimming, tennis, painting, drawing, Photoshop, baking, shopping and more… I’m creative and seek variety in the things I purchase. And of course I seek to be creative and innovative in both art and in my writing.

I want beauty all around me. I want every aspect of my life to shout out that I’m a creative person, that I am an artist, that I have an eye for color. I want to indulge myself in all things creative. If I could have built my house from the ground up it would be completely unique to me. If I truly believed in myself and knew what I was capable of I can’t even imagine what I would be able to create.

What does it mean to be creative? Dictionary.com says: having the ability to create, characterized by originality of thought; having or showing imagination, characterized by sophisticated bending of the rules or conventions.

I have creative madness!

How I Hate To Say Goodbye (poem)

This is a poem I wrote. I thought I might try something different with this post. Please let me know if you like it. I don’t normally share any of my poems, because I fear they are only good in my mind. 

I wake up every morning to the sound of your voice,
I lay down to dream at night and the world is in reverse.

As I fall asleep I pray for God’s warmth,
To rise up and walk out that door again,
Take’s everything that I am worth.

As I kiss your lips goodbye,
Tears form in my eyes,
I hide the pain I feel inside,
Although, you know it’s all a lie.

As my car rolls down the drive way,
You blow me a kiss goodbye,
You say I love you one last time,
Though, I know you will always be mine.

As I drive away, tears flow down my face,
Our song blasts on the radio,
I then know, God is on our side.
We’ll be together someday,
somehow, someway.

I always wonder what artists write certain poems and songs about, even though I derive my own meaning and emotional response from them. If you leave a comment, I will add that story with our song to this post. If not, that’s fine too.