Driving Away From Here

Finally, had a real vacation! Feel bad that I have posted anything in awhile. I missed my blog, but a week and a half ago a road trip anywhere away from here was the only thing on my mind. On my first road trip with my husband I brought a bunch of entertainment thinking I would be so easily bored, but I honestly just enjoyed staring at the road in complete relaxation.

This wasn’t just any vacation, it was a trip to see my best friend, who is like a sister to me. Every friend I see on a regular basis has a solid job and either has babies or feel the need to have one soon. I don’t. I just dream of being an aunt, a dream I’m still waiting on. My best friend has no intention of ever having a baby, and her and I are very much alike in our personality and the way we see this world. With her I fit into this world and I can be entirely myself. But I have to live here without her, and feel the pressure of feeling like I don’t fit in with everyone around me settling down. It’s just me and my husband.

After she left four years ago, I was angry and felt lonely all the time. It took a couple years, but I finally have a pretty good circle of friends, still they can’t compensate for the fact that she’s not here. I understand her seasonal depression, but it makes me angry at the world, because that’s the only reason she’s not here. There are people in this world that just can’t be replaced, there’s just too much history.

I’ve never been in love with this state, but in the movie “I Am Number Four,” the main character said “A place is only as good as the people you know in it.” And I strongly agree with that. I have a lot of people here. Therefore, I just want to be successful enough to take more vacations then the average person, and be able to see my best friend more than once a year. But, I fear that won’t be enough. I fear more loneliness, and I fear more time feeling so different from everyone else.

I feel everything so deeply, and sometimes I feel deep emotions without really understanding why. I find myself struggling as I realize I may feel out of place for a very long time.


The Power of Writing

Writing is powerful, it can completely transform a person’s views on the world and even change the very core of a person’s existence.

writingI feel this hole inside of me because it has been two weeks since I have turned whatever I’m feeling into words on a page. I spent all  last week developing writing for my business website and at the end of the week I could no longer string a sentence together. I’m definitely not cut out for the life of a full time writer, but that doesn’t mean I’m not one. I need to write, I have to write. I feel better after writing. According to the quote below I am a real writer.

“Real writers are those who want to write, need to write, have to write.” — Robert Penn Warren

As I was stringing words together for my website, I was amazed by the creativity that flowed from my brain to my fingertips. I honestly never really know where my writing is headed, and sometimes I surprise myself and impress myself. However, the writing is never as great as the first time that I reread it. The next time it just seems good, but not great. The next time after that I realize it needs work. But, sometimes I create that perfect sentence that I couldn’t possibly rewrite to sound any better. I chose all the right words and strung them together to deliver a strong message. I’m not even sure how the sentence came together, usually. It has the power of an inspirational quote in my mind, and I find quotes to be extremely powerful. There’s a few quotes that have actually made me change the way I see things. Even a sentence in a book or an article.

And among all the crappy sentences I have thrown together on a page, the one powerful sentence makes me believe I can alter the rest of my writing to be better, or even equivalent in perfection.

There is real perfection in writing, and it’s when a single sentence delivers a powerful message to the person who reads it. Just one sentence can set the tone for a writers whole piece of writing. Just one sentence can change a person’s perspective on a situation. Just one sentence can do imaginable things.

Some of the most famous quotes out there in the world were not even written by writers. They were just written by people who had something powerful to say. Here are a few quotes about writing I found that I really loved:

“When you’re writing, you’re creating something out of nothing…A successful piece of writing is like doing a successful piece of magic.” — Susanna Clarke

“Take away the art of writing from this world, and you will probably take away its glory.” — François R. Chateaubriand

“Let the power of words light the candles of our souls setting the world on fire ,inspiring greatness; for all things good can one day be great, if only you believe.” — Lori R Taylor

Thank you to all the writers of the world who are out there inspiring others. Your words can be very powerful.