Everyone Loves an Underdog

If someone wrote a book about your life, would anyone want to read it?

Without struggle, without suffering, we have no story. No one wants to read about the person whose always got everything they ever wanted. No one wants to read about the person whose had an easy life and succeeded and everything they ever tried.

Everyone wants to read about the person who struggled, and then struggled some more, hit rock bottom, and then eventually succeeded, and even lived out their dreams.

I have been learning about underdogs for the past month, and the one thing that has really resonated with me is how difficult times can set you up to be more successful, then the person living the easy life. When life is difficult, we have to ask ourselves, “What can we learn from it?” We can learn more from the difficult parts of our life, then the easy successful parts.

A life with a good mix of drama, challenges to overcome, pain, along with success, and happiness, is the kind of life people are interested in reading about. Because everyone loves an underdog. Movies love to share the stories of underdogs from fictional characters to real life hero’s or just successes. Celebrities who were once sleeping in their cars are now living in mansions. I read an article recently that listed some of Hollywood’s biggest names, who were once homeless and living in their cars. I was very surprised! Read here.

I’m not entirely happy about the difficult things I’ve had to go through in my life, but I’m proud to be the person those difficult times has shaped me to be. I’m proud of the person I’ve become, and the person I can be in the future. I know that no matter what good fortune or success comes my way I will always stay true to myself. I won’t take anything for granted.

If your struggling in life, I hope you realize how much of a stronger person you will be because of it.


Ugly Places and Uncozy Spaces

Quick! run toward the exit maybe no one will notice! (that’s what I’m thinking, but I don’t).

I’m very particular about the environments I will allow myself to spend time in. Places with weird smells, dirty spaces, tight quarters, old, dingy styles, and damaged pieces, make me feel sick inside. If the place is all of the above I find myself feeling dirty and ugly in the space as if I’m absorbing the essences of it. Even after I leave I’m still not at ease. My mind can’t let go of the time I spent and the feelings I encountered in an uncomfortable place. I find myself yearning for a clean and cozy space or my own place.

One of these ugly places with tight spaces is my parents home, specifically their kitchen. I spent 18 years there, in a space that caused me discomfort and I couldn’t do a single thing to fix it. It never felt like home. Now I limit my time there, remember I’m no longer trapped, and prepare myself mentally in advance.

I don’t know why different spaces have so much of an effect on me, I’m sure it’s partly due to my sensitivity. There’s just no other place or space quite like home.

When I started looking for a house my husband pushed for a fixer upper. I on the other hand wanted something newly remodeled. I needed a space that right away felt warm and inviting. I couldn’t live in the stress and mess of reconstruction. I couldn’t have found something more suitable to my personality and my tastes. There’s definitely room for  a bit of remodeling and it turned out to need a lot of fixes. However, the main rooms in the house are cosmetically pleasing even without the fancy furniture we’ve been unable to purchase. Above all the house is not a cookie cutter home (this was very important to me), there’s not a single house exactly like it.

No matter how tough life gets and how scary the world can be it’s nice to have one place that will always feels like home to me. One place that resembles my creativity and uniqueness that is me.

Feeling Like an Alien in the World

I’ve always felt like an alien in the world ever since I could remember. I’m told that’s normal for INFJ’s. Still, I reach out for some aspects of normal in my life and instead I find myself dwindling further and further away from normal. The more I dive into my complex personality the more I realize how uniquely different I am from everyone else. The more I learn about the culture of the country I live in the more I understand why I’ve felt like an alien and even inferior to others.

The biggest problem I face is my inability to conform to a society where extroversion is valued more than introversion. I can ignore this in every aspect of my life except the career world. It’s a society with so many rules on how a professional should think and react in every given situation. The people with the best oral skills gets the job – the people with the power of persuasion. I’m a better writer then a speaker. But, I hate being told what to do and working for companies closed off to new ideas (which so many of them are). I’m not some radical that won’t listen and conform to company culture, I will, but I’ll hate it. I don’t want to impress people and pretend I’m something I’m not. They say “just be who are in interviews,” yet there’s all kinds of rules about what to say, what not to say, how to act and it’s encouraged to tell white lies. I’m one of the most honest people in this world I can’t stand even telling one little white lie. Everyone tells me that the right job is out there for me, and I honestly don’t agree. Where people tell me to not give up, not understanding that it’s not in my nature to. But, what happens when I get another job? It lasts a year, if I’m lucky, 5 years and then I’m back out there again looking. So, I just keeping working on my skills and building up my skills for being a entrepreneur meanwhile playing the stupid job game.

I know I see the world differently and I want to share my inner perspective with the world in an epic way, but I can’t until I’m successful. People listen to the successful people, people don’t question the successful people.

I learned not only do I have the personality type of an INFJ, but I also have the inventive personality type. I looked at the overlap of jobs for inventive types, INFJ types and HSP’s and found little to no overlap in the type of jobs that would interest me. Any creative adventure on my own just sounds more fun. I embrace my uniqueness, but at the same time find myself jealous of others who have it so easy, who don’t have to work so hard to fit into the world. Having such a complex personality really complicates my career journey and is extra complicated in a difficult economy. I wish sometimes that I wasn’t born to this generation, but I know in time I will find my way. I’m absorbing information like a sponge so that I don’t get left behind in this world. With society no longer having job security gaining new skills and knowledge are the only things I can keep.

I have so many friends living out the normal life with full time jobs, houses and plans for kids (some already pregnant) and I just nod along like I have plans for all that normal stuff too. I only have a couple friends not setting their life up for all the normal stuff. My one and only friend who does think the same way as me lives out of state. Some days I wish I could just feel normal and plan my life out the same way. But, I know normal will always be twice as hard for me being an hsp. So I can’t try to be what society wants me to be, or what I’ve been brought up to believe I should be. There just has to be a another place for me.