My Emotional Whirlwind

Sometimes I can get so lost in my own emotions and the one’s I absorb from other people that I can’t focus on anything outside of how I’m feeling. This is how I currently feel.

Sometimes I have random anxiety and worry that something bad is going to happen – even though I know I’m overthinking things.

Sometimes I just need to hear the sound of my husbands voice so I don’t feel so alone when I’m lost in an emotional whirlwind.

Sometimes I get angry at myself for being so emotional because I know I could be more productive if I just learned how to shut the door on my emotions.

Sometimes I worry I won’t protect myself from being too overwhelmed in the future causing me to become an emotional wreck, and sometimes I worry I will overprotect myself and shut the door on trying something that might be a great experience.

Sometimes I just feel like crying and I don’t understand why.

Sometimes I think I’m learning how to be less emotional about everything, and then disaster strikes!

Sometimes I don’t want to leave my emotional whirlwind so I just allow myself to get lost in it. Sometimes, I just can’t get out without help.

Sometimes everything is going right and I’m incredibly happy, I’m super productive, but I know it won’t last.

Most of the time I just wonder how I can use it to my advantage, so it doesn’t become a disadvantage.

Finding Highly Sensitive People in My Life “Who Don’t Know”

I’ve become very aware of all my highly sensitive traits after reading “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron. This book has had a huge influence one the way I now view myself in relation to the rest of the world, but that’s not the only thing that has changed. Now I find myself running into Highly Sensitive people in my normal everyday life who are unaware that they are a “highly sensitive person.”

The first person is a long lost best friend from my childhood. We were friends since the 2nd grade even after she moved, but we slowly drifted apart when we were in high school. We reconnected over the summer and now hang out quite a bit. After hanging out with her only two times I realized we had more in common then I could have ever expected. I knew for certain she was a highly sensitive person and despite my feelings of awkwardness I made a point to bring it up. She was interested and took my book with her, but was a bit unsure of the whole thing. I just wanted to dive into a deep conversation and go on and on about my experiences and her experiences and what it meant to be highly sensitive but I held it all in. I didn’t bring it up again except for a text to ask her if she had a chance to read the book and to tell her that her favorite musician was an HSP. She hadn’t read it, but I definitely peaked her interest.

It’s crazy to me that my long lost best friend and lifetime best friend are both highly sensitive (both I met in elementary school). What are the chances? It’s like destiny – maybe I was drawn to these people. After hanging out with my long lost friend only two times I was able to puzzle together her life story as if by magic. Every little thing she told me that had real emotion behind it fit this trait of being highly sensitive and I felt like I understood the core of her problems better then she could. But, you can’t say it. I don’t even know if I went about it right. How do you tell someone that you think they are a highly sensitive person because you are too? Should you tell them? I myself was in denial about it and unsure about buying the book on it, but I did, and I’m glad that I read it.

The second person is a co-worker who I had no idea was highly sensitive till after I had worked with her over 6 months. We never had any real long conversations till recently, but once we did I could see how emotional and sensitive she was. It wasn’t long before she displayed just about every single trait in the book on highly sensitive people. I felt all her emotions and felt bad that she is nearly 50 something and has no idea that there’s a trait that completely defines a lot of her unique characteristics. I read in the book how some people close themselves off from the world and many activities because of their sensitivity. I felt bad that her job overwhelmed her. I knew she had migraines often because she doesn’t know about her sensitivity and wasn’t protecting herself. She told me a couple stories about things that she feared and situations that still create fear in her mind. I wonder if she opened up to me sensing that I would understand, or if she has shared these stories with many people. Everyday I felt like I could go on talking to her for hours, (of course I didn’t) but it’s so much easier for me to get wrapped up in a conversation with a HSP. I feel this deep connection between me and all the HSP’s in my life (so far 3 that I know of). Once again I felt like I could puzzle her life together better then she could. As she was talking to me and nearly in tears over something I told her about the book and how I was highly sensitive and what it all meant. Just like my long lost friend she seemed intrigued but yet unsure of it all. I told her to research it, and the next day I asked her about it and she said she never found time. Would it benefit her to know this at this point in her life? Should I bring it up again or just let it go? How do you tell someone?

I feel this responsibility to tell people they are highly sensitive (if and only if I’m 95% sure), and I want to help them find meaning and clarity in their life. So I start by saying that I’m highly sensitive and describing the traits. This is a completely new thing for me and I’m in the dark as to how to do it, or whether or not to. I would really appreciate your thoughts! Tell me what you think! I know I’m going to run into more highly sensitive people throughout my life. Being as it’s become an easy thing for me to figure out I wonder how obvious it is that I am. I don’t cry as easily as the other HSP’s I know, I’m more private and not open about how everything in the world is so overwhelming, or how easily my feelings get hurt (this might be due to my past self esteem issues and problems with rejection), but I don’t know. Maybe a lot of people hide it very well not even meaning to.

I even found two musical artists that I thought might be highly sensitive just from listening to their songs, and I was in fact correct. One of the artists is Alanis Morissette, who will actually be part of a documentary by Elaine Aron “Sensitive The Movie” I can’t even begin to express to you my excitement about this movie! When I found out I became super excited and it was the only thing I could think about. This reminded me of other times I have become overly exited about something – a trait that comes from being a highly sensitive people.

I want the world to know about Highly Sensitive People, and have it no longer be looked at in a negative light! I want less people to feel like the world is against them!

Have You Lost Weight? No, stop asking!

Do people ask you “Have you lost weight?” to complement you on your body? I have been asked this many times before. This is what’s wrong with our society. We often see this question as a compliment when people ask it, and it’s usually meant to be, but it’s not! It’s part of the problem with the way our society views things.

First, we shouldn’t care what other people think of our body, our weight ect. Your the one who has to live with you each and everyday and you need to be comfortable in your own skin. Second, losing weight does not = a positive compliment. It’s like telling someone that they look fat. “Looks like you lost weight”, “looks like you gained weight” both are just as negative! I always think “Was there something wrong with my body before I lost weight? That now that I lost weight I’m more pleasant to look at?” ,”Did they think I was fat before?”, “Are they trying to say I should be trying to lose weight?” Asking me if I lost weight also implies that I care what other people think of the way that I look and I don’t! I did at one time or another (due to society’s horrible influence), but I don’t anymore! I’m happy with my body despite what others may think of my appearance.

This question is not a compliment even when you are in the process of losing a few extra pounds because you need to be doing it for yourself. If people don’t say anything when you have lost 20 lbs that’s awesome that means they don’t judge the way people look, and are more sophisticated then other people. They don’t care what weight your at, and if you don’t flaunt it they realize your losing weight for yourself and not to please anyone else.

Thirdly, this question shows that other people do care about how we look, and it encourages us to care what other people think. What if someone lost weight because they were really sick? Maybe the person is headed toward becoming anorexic, and your question about losing weight just encouraged them that they are on the right path, because you said it in such a positive way. By asking this question you are reminding them that people care about how other people look and that’s important. Your telling them that you thought they were fat or overweight before and they should keep losing weight.

One of the two scenarios where it may be appropriate to comment on someone else’s weight is when they straight out ask you “Do you think I’ve lost weight?” and then you have to be careful to use the right words for the situation. They maybe trying to get an outside opinion because they are worried about what others think. The other scenario where it maybe appropriate to comment is if the person is unhealthy and you are truly concerned about their health and well being.

It angers me when people ask me this question. I really want to blow up at them and tell them how insulting it is for them to ask me that question. Most recently, I get that question and I haven’t lost any weight which means I probably look thinner because of the clothes I’m wearing or the high heels I’m sporting (which means I should dress like that more often? No!) So I usually say no I haven’t and then it just gets a little awkward after that. Some people will say this is a way of saying “you look nice” or “pretty” but if that’s what they are trying to say then that’s what they should say!

The truth is we should be working on our physical appearance for ourselves, not anyone else. I put on makeup and jewelry and look pretty because it makes me feel more confident in myself. I don’t have a perfect body – I realize this, but I’m happy and confident about the way I look and I feel no need to comment on other people’s bodies.

We should be teaching the next few generations to be happy with themselves and find the ideal weight and ideal look for themselves and only them. No one else’s opinions matter. Dress for success, but don’t lose sight of who you are.

It’s not about taking your makeup off, it’s about realizing why you put it on in the first place. It’s not about wearing the latest styles – it’s about dressing in a way that makes you feel great about yourself.