Do people ask you “Have you lost weight?” to complement you on your body? I have been asked this many times before. This is what’s wrong with our society. We often see this question as a compliment when people ask it, and it’s usually meant to be, but it’s not! It’s part of the problem with the way our society views things.
First, we shouldn’t care what other people think of our body, our weight ect. Your the one who has to live with you each and everyday and you need to be comfortable in your own skin. Second, losing weight does not = a positive compliment. It’s like telling someone that they look fat. “Looks like you lost weight”, “looks like you gained weight” both are just as negative! I always think “Was there something wrong with my body before I lost weight? That now that I lost weight I’m more pleasant to look at?” ,”Did they think I was fat before?”, “Are they trying to say I should be trying to lose weight?” Asking me if I lost weight also implies that I care what other people think of the way that I look and I don’t! I did at one time or another (due to society’s horrible influence), but I don’t anymore! I’m happy with my body despite what others may think of my appearance.
This question is not a compliment even when you are in the process of losing a few extra pounds because you need to be doing it for yourself. If people don’t say anything when you have lost 20 lbs that’s awesome that means they don’t judge the way people look, and are more sophisticated then other people. They don’t care what weight your at, and if you don’t flaunt it they realize your losing weight for yourself and not to please anyone else.
Thirdly, this question shows that other people do care about how we look, and it encourages us to care what other people think. What if someone lost weight because they were really sick? Maybe the person is headed toward becoming anorexic, and your question about losing weight just encouraged them that they are on the right path, because you said it in such a positive way. By asking this question you are reminding them that people care about how other people look and that’s important. Your telling them that you thought they were fat or overweight before and they should keep losing weight.
One of the two scenarios where it may be appropriate to comment on someone else’s weight is when they straight out ask you “Do you think I’ve lost weight?” and then you have to be careful to use the right words for the situation. They maybe trying to get an outside opinion because they are worried about what others think. The other scenario where it maybe appropriate to comment is if the person is unhealthy and you are truly concerned about their health and well being.
It angers me when people ask me this question. I really want to blow up at them and tell them how insulting it is for them to ask me that question. Most recently, I get that question and I haven’t lost any weight which means I probably look thinner because of the clothes I’m wearing or the high heels I’m sporting (which means I should dress like that more often? No!) So I usually say no I haven’t and then it just gets a little awkward after that. Some people will say this is a way of saying “you look nice” or “pretty” but if that’s what they are trying to say then that’s what they should say!
The truth is we should be working on our physical appearance for ourselves, not anyone else. I put on makeup and jewelry and look pretty because it makes me feel more confident in myself. I don’t have a perfect body – I realize this, but I’m happy and confident about the way I look and I feel no need to comment on other people’s bodies.
We should be teaching the next few generations to be happy with themselves and find the ideal weight and ideal look for themselves and only them. No one else’s opinions matter. Dress for success, but don’t lose sight of who you are.
It’s not about taking your makeup off, it’s about realizing why you put it on in the first place. It’s not about wearing the latest styles – it’s about dressing in a way that makes you feel great about yourself.