Finding Highly Sensitive People in My Life “Who Don’t Know”

I’ve become very aware of all my highly sensitive traits after reading “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron. This book has had a huge influence one the way I now view myself in relation to the rest of the world, but that’s not the only thing that has changed. Now I find myself running into Highly Sensitive people in my normal everyday life who are unaware that they are a “highly sensitive person.”

The first person is a long lost best friend from my childhood. We were friends since the 2nd grade even after she moved, but we slowly drifted apart when we were in high school. We reconnected over the summer and now hang out quite a bit. After hanging out with her only two times I realized we had more in common then I could have ever expected. I knew for certain she was a highly sensitive person and despite my feelings of awkwardness I made a point to bring it up. She was interested and took my book with her, but was a bit unsure of the whole thing. I just wanted to dive into a deep conversation and go on and on about my experiences and her experiences and what it meant to be highly sensitive but I held it all in. I didn’t bring it up again except for a text to ask her if she had a chance to read the book and to tell her that her favorite musician was an HSP. She hadn’t read it, but I definitely peaked her interest.

It’s crazy to me that my long lost best friend and lifetime best friend are both highly sensitive (both I met in elementary school). What are the chances? It’s like destiny – maybe I was drawn to these people. After hanging out with my long lost friend only two times I was able to puzzle together her life story as if by magic. Every little thing she told me that had real emotion behind it fit this trait of being highly sensitive and I felt like I understood the core of her problems better then she could. But, you can’t say it. I don’t even know if I went about it right. How do you tell someone that you think they are a highly sensitive person because you are too? Should you tell them? I myself was in denial about it and unsure about buying the book on it, but I did, and I’m glad that I read it.

The second person is a co-worker who I had no idea was highly sensitive till after I had worked with her over 6 months. We never had any real long conversations till recently, but once we did I could see how emotional and sensitive she was. It wasn’t long before she displayed just about every single trait in the book on highly sensitive people. I felt all her emotions and felt bad that she is nearly 50 something and has no idea that there’s a trait that completely defines a lot of her unique characteristics. I read in the book how some people close themselves off from the world and many activities because of their sensitivity. I felt bad that her job overwhelmed her. I knew she had migraines often because she doesn’t know about her sensitivity and wasn’t protecting herself. She told me a couple stories about things that she feared and situations that still create fear in her mind. I wonder if she opened up to me sensing that I would understand, or if she has shared these stories with many people. Everyday I felt like I could go on talking to her for hours, (of course I didn’t) but it’s so much easier for me to get wrapped up in a conversation with a HSP. I feel this deep connection between me and all the HSP’s in my life (so far 3 that I know of). Once again I felt like I could puzzle her life together better then she could. As she was talking to me and nearly in tears over something I told her about the book and how I was highly sensitive and what it all meant. Just like my long lost friend she seemed intrigued but yet unsure of it all. I told her to research it, and the next day I asked her about it and she said she never found time. Would it benefit her to know this at this point in her life? Should I bring it up again or just let it go? How do you tell someone?

I feel this responsibility to tell people they are highly sensitive (if and only if I’m 95% sure), and I want to help them find meaning and clarity in their life. So I start by saying that I’m highly sensitive and describing the traits. This is a completely new thing for me and I’m in the dark as to how to do it, or whether or not to. I would really appreciate your thoughts! Tell me what you think! I know I’m going to run into more highly sensitive people throughout my life. Being as it’s become an easy thing for me to figure out I wonder how obvious it is that I am. I don’t cry as easily as the other HSP’s I know, I’m more private and not open about how everything in the world is so overwhelming, or how easily my feelings get hurt (this might be due to my past self esteem issues and problems with rejection), but I don’t know. Maybe a lot of people hide it very well not even meaning to.

I even found two musical artists that I thought might be highly sensitive just from listening to their songs, and I was in fact correct. One of the artists is Alanis Morissette, who will actually be part of a documentary by Elaine Aron “Sensitive The Movie” I can’t even begin to express to you my excitement about this movie! When I found out I became super excited and it was the only thing I could think about. This reminded me of other times I have become overly exited about something – a trait that comes from being a highly sensitive people.

I want the world to know about Highly Sensitive People, and have it no longer be looked at in a negative light! I want less people to feel like the world is against them!


One thought on “Finding Highly Sensitive People in My Life “Who Don’t Know”

  1. I feel this way too. Being both highly sensitive and introverted, I want to share this knowledge with others who are the same. I feel so much more at peace with myself, knowing that there isn’t something fundamentally wrong with me, that there’s a reason I am the way I am. I want others to know that they’re awesome and that there’s nothing wrong with them 🙂 I usually lend out “The Introvert Advantage” (by Marti Olsen Laney) to anyone who shows an interest.

    Liked by 2 people

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