Everything is Changing and Nothing at the Same Time

Change overwhelms me and heightens my emotional state of being. These days there are lots of big changes happening, but not the changes I need to follow my dreams and my goals. People are having babies, my one and only sibling is moving to another state, and I have nothing happening. I’m happy for them. I do not envy them, I am not jealous, I just feel stuck. Only jealous of their excitement to embrace something new. I’m stressed all the time and tired all the time. I’m just looking forward to the day when I feel I’m able to achieve my dreams and goals with less stress and the money to experiment.

Being highly sensitive I find myself observing all my husbands emotions and stresses of finding a new job. I take on my own emotions and aggravations with life, and I take on his emotions. I understand how he feels and he looks to me for support and of course I’m there to helpย him every step of the way. I’ve been down the job road before and I fear traveling down that road again. Once he is settled in a new position the only stresses I need to take on our my own. This is a struggle I face being highly sensitive. I’m battling headaches, tiredness and lots of emotions. But, I know things will get better.

I can’t wait for the day where I can feel alive again! I want to be able to eat out more, travel, and just go out and try new things. I realize more and more each year that I feel the most alive when I’m out in the world trying new things with my husband. I love spending time with friends, but what I love most is just me and my husband going and doing something completely brand new together. I have created a journal of dreams and goals (a bucket list). I’m anxious to start crossing some things off and start writing positive posts of my passion and excitement for life.

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3 thoughts on “Everything is Changing and Nothing at the Same Time

  1. Hmmm, I find myself in a similar situation. Feeling somewhat stuck, I long for a new phase that will be liberating and more rewarding. In addition, I know what it feels like to observe your partner’s emotions constantly. As you say, it has an impact on our physical health. That is just how we HSPs seem to be wired. I guess, the important thing is not to try and change that, but to learn how to embrace oneself with what we are. In the end, what really helped me in the past few months is attending a mindfulness course. Especially for highly sensitive people, it creates the tools to zone out (or zoom in, respectively), be still, and gather strenght, soak up beauty, live kindness. I haven’t been sick in months. To me this is a first. So if you feel stuck, perhaps looking into something that can at least offer you a new perspective on the things that ARE might bring you a bit of that feeling of being alive ๐Ÿ™‚ Sorry if this is unasked advice ๐Ÿ˜‰

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    • Thank you, I do appreciate the advice regarding being highly sensitive I’ve only recently started analyzing my sensitivity and how to make the best of it and handle the difficult aspects of it. I have actually just finished reading a great book called: Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life. I do find it helpful and have been trying to incorporate some meditation into my life.

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      • Ha, well then you’re all set ๐Ÿ™‚ I also only learnt about the Hsp thing perhaps a year ago. I found that attending a course really helped me wrap my mind around the whole mindfulness thing, and in one of the HSP books that I read it later said that HSPs can really benefit from the practice. Well, so I guess we’re on the right way ๐Ÿ™‚ All the best for your path!

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