To Be Haunted

Being as it’s Halloween week I thought I would write a post about being haunted. Sometimes in life there are things that scare you to a point you can’t or don’t know how to come back from. Sometimes you don ‘t even want to put the effort into trying.

I’m haunted by my past growing up as the kid that everyone picked on in elementary school. I still look back in anger that those kids were so incredibly cruel to me. I’m upset that it effected the way I viewed myself for years. I walk by an elementary school and I can still remember all the pain I felt.

I’m haunted by my past living with my Mom who screamed and yelled all the time at my whole family. A person who always had to be in control of things and know everything that’s going on all the time. I remember thinking I’m living with a monster at times. I sometimes have nightmares that I still live under that roof. My self esteem was effected by this too.

My co-worker told me today that she doesn’t celebrate Halloween and doesn’t like Halloween. Of course I was fascinated to know why. She told me a story about when she was a kid – It was dark outside and a creepy face appeared outside her bedroom window and it scared her half to death. It turned out to just be her older brother playing a practical joke on her, but she never got over it. As an adult that would definitely scare me! But, when your a kid your already scared of monsters under your bed. I’m not surprised that it still continues to haunt her.

How do you come back from that especially when your a highly sensitive person? How do you forget that your self esteem was so low because you were the target of bullying? I would like to know. How do you forgive the parents who tormented you throughout your childhood but don’t understand that they did anything wrong to this day?

I’m haunted by my past and the past makes me believe that people look at me and think I’m not capable of any big things. Even though I know I am! I think some things just stay with you forever. But, I would like to think we somehow grow stronger as a person. What do you think?

What are you haunted by?


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